Do you like cats? Do you like record stores? If so, do we have a site for you.

Kara has been traveling for the past week and a half, first to New York; then to Philly to meet with her newest genius author-friend, Alexander Stadler; then to Indianapolis for the Butler University Writer's Conference, where she spoke to many passionate writers, critiqued manuscripts, signed books, and rubbed elbows with the likes of Valiska Gregory, Bryan Collier, Ed Young, April Pulley Sayre, Andrea Cheng...and last but not least, the elegant and extraordinary E.L. Konigsburg. It was a productive and inspiring trip, to be sure.

Unfortunately, the traveling was not so pleasant. What is wrong with airlines these days, with all of the delays and cancellations? Also, when Kara would finally board the plane, it would be one of those tiny puddle-jumpers with no head room, let alone leg room. And whatever happened to the nice corridor that buffered passengers between the gate and the plane? In every case, Kara and her fellow air travelers boarded the plane directly from the runway; really, this is not the time of year to be standing on a windswept tarmac for any length of time. Also, when she finally arrived back in Providence, the airline had misplaced her luggage. Though it was returned several hours later, the temporary absence of toiletries, pajamas, and Kara's new favorite pair of boots did not do much to boost her air-traveling morale. She looks forward to her trip to NYC later this week, where she will be reunited with her old friend, the Acela train.

PLEASE NOTE for those who attended one of Kara's lectures at Butler University and received one of her handy editorial coupons, there has been a bit of confusion about the word "package." In publishing land, the word "package" is used to describe any mailed material; in this case, it defines the envelope in which you'll be mailing your query letter. Kara is accepting queries only at this time. Thanks, sorry for any confusion, and good luck!

Dear Colds, Flus, and Sinus Infections,

Thanks so much for your interest in visiting the LaReau Sisters. Unfortunately, we're just not interested in hosting you; while we love company, we don't have the stomach (or lungs, or nasal passages) for an appearance from your kind — especially now, when we are both so busy. And we certainly don't want a replay of the other times you've shown up. Remember the sleepless nights? The pain you caused? And then, geez, it seemed like you would never leave.

Jenna says you have already dropped in unannounced; she has a sore throat and has been sneezing almost non-stop since early this morning. This is unacceptable, and honestly? RUDE. Don't you know she has no time for you? And don't even think about paying Kara a visit; she'll be traveling on and off throughout the next two weeks, so she'll be less than welcoming.

Really, if we could, we'd end this toxic relationship right now and tell you all to NEVER come back. You're abusive and horrible to be around, and frankly, you make us sick. If you know what's good for you (and more important, what's good for us), you'll keep your distance, at least until April or May. Maybe then we can talk about a brief visit? 24 hours at the most? We know we can't stave you off for too long — after all, we're only human.

Catch you in the spring,

Yours,
Kara and Jenna

Do you? Because we thought we were pretty big fans — until we heard these little zealots. Holey Swiss!

The above photo depicts:

A. A surprisingly charming shrunken head collection

B. A vintage cookie jar (eBay find), and a Napco "Miss Cutie Pie" teapot (recently purchased at an antiques store in Vermont)

C. Kara and Jenna posing for a photo op

D. Other (feel free to offer your own suggestion)

The LaReau Sisters have been almost criminally negligent in their blogging. For that, we apologize. Kara and Jenna do have some very good reasons, of course. As follows:

1. Christmas. Kara and Jenna and K-Hubs shopped and decorated and cooked and cleaned and ate and drank. Was there any sleeping, you ask? Not so much. They also gave each other some sweet gifts: Kara gave K-Hubs a limited edition Porsche book, K-Hubs gave Kara a new winter coat, Kara gave Jenna a state-of-the-art calculator watch, Jenna gave K-Hubs a Saws-All, K-Hubs gave Jenna five pounds of her favorite coffee and a Shop-Vac, and Jenna gave Kara a monogrammed bathrobe. Whew. The best gift of all came from the LaReau Sisters' parents and grandparents: a new refrigerator and stove for Kara's kitchen. Now when we cook, smoke doesn't shoot out of the oven! Now when we put food on the refrigerator shelves, it doesn't freeze solid! (Have you ever eaten frozen lettuce? As appetizing as it might sound, we don't recommend it.)

2. Kara started writing Something New. It involves animals, hats, and cupcakes. We'll see whether or not it goes anywhere. If anything, we can always send it to Amy Sedaris.

3. Jenna spent the entire New Year's Eve weekend painting the bathroom at Kara and K-Hubs's house. Before-and-after photos to come. Really, it is stunning. Within moments of her first viewing, Kara was feeling flushed. Jenna is still feeling pooped.

4. Kara and K-Hubs spent New Year's in a cabin in Vermont. Among other things, they consumed a great deal of wine and cheese, enjoyed the company of their friends, and relaxed in front of a roaring fire. You couldn't ask for much more from a New Year's weekend, unless you also had hopes of returning to a freshly-painted bathroom.

5. The delightful Miss Cecil visited us. During her visit, we all went to the movies and saw ROCKY BALBOA. Have you seen it? Really, you should. If you love the Italian Stallion as Jenna does, if you immediately assume a fighting stance when you hear that theme music as Kara does, and if you miss those training montages, those sweaty, bloody boxing sequences, and those choice bits of Rocky wisdom ("It ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard ya can get hit, and keep movin' forward"), you can't pass this up. Plus, Sylvester Stallone is like sixty years old and STILL brings it.

Do any of these make up for our long absence? Probably not. In any case, we're glad to say goodbye to 2006, and to drink some egg yolks, get back into the ring, and "throw some hurt bombs" in 2007!

ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!